This Week’s Best

[insert excuses for being absent from the blog world.  please forgive me.  i still love all of you and you blogs.]

Here are some of my favorite things from this past week:

Favorite Free Music:

Josh Garrels – “Love & War & The Sea In Between”
(download. now. yes, that is  a command.)

Favorite Driving Music:

Future of Forestry: The Travel EPs
The Folly

Favorite News:

“Arrested Development” to do new series, movie

Favorite Blog Reads:

Coming next week…cool beans? Cool beans. 

Favorite Thing Said About Me:
 Favorite School Club:

 

Favorite Student Work from “Create Your Own Linear Equation”.
Extra credit for the illustration.

 

What is the best blog post you have read all week (other than this fine piece of work*)? Feel free to heap generous amounts of praise on blogger of your choice.  

*Work = Laziness

 

8 Thoughts

I’m going to skip the part where I explain why I haven’t been posting.

Here are some thoughts that have entered my skull this week:

1. At a staff meeting, they kept referring to Administration as “Admin”.  Naturally, this led me to the greatest idea ever: a Mad Men spinoff called Madmin.  If you steal this idea, I will cut you.
2. According to the teacher I work with, a male faculty member said that I “have the cutest dimple in my chin”.  Pretty sure that’s just a zit. Sorry.
3. I generated Pascal’s Triangle with a 5 year old. The kid was able to see the pattern in the diagonals.  Genius.  Although he struggled with addition of two numbers greater than 5.
   
4. Best student-generated math problem ever: “Snoop Dog was running at a rate of 6 miles per hour to get to his ’64 Impala, which is 30 miles away.  How long will it take him to get to the garage?”
5. So there is a street that runs perpendicular (that’s geometry) to my street, but it once it hits my street, it stops, forcing cars to turn left or right.  However, I just realized if cars were to keep going straight, they would go straight into my driveway.  I  literally have to look 3 ways before I can back-out.  I’m not mad, it’s just weird.  Anybody else have this same predicament?
6. There is a girl eating a green banana in my classroom.  Do I tell her to wait?
7. Here are the notes I took during an observation of a geometry class:
8. The bell rang so I need to stop.

   Please answer #4. Extra Credit: Show your work and define your variables.

3 Things

So it’s been over a week since I have posted, and I just wanted to apologize/make up a bunch of excuses.  This past week I moved, started school and started student teaching.  I fell off the internet bandwagon, but hopefully I will be making my way back on.  The dust is still settling.

Here are 3 things I want to share with you:

1. Two words: Black Out.  No, this wasn’t something we did at a football game where we thought we could intimate the opposing team by wearing black t-shirts but a small minority ruined it for the rest of us. This was real like the rational numbers.  All of San Diego (plus parts of Mexico, Orange County and Arizona) was without electricity from about 3:45pm to midnight.  It was chaos. Pros: we got to eat all the food in our refrigerator and class got cancelled.  Cons: I ate all the food in my refrigerator.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

2.  Look what I got!

Our mascot is Zoro.

3.  This is the cover to the diary entries I wrote:
(The bears are not stickers)

It's like a montage of everything that was wrong with the 90s.

What are your best tips for keeping up with the blogging world?

Saturday Short: My First Video

I guarantee you this is the dumbest video you will watch today:

I was up at 5am that day, please forgive me.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how capable am I of bringing back yo-yo-ing?

 

My Diary & My Predictions

Along with my diary entries from when I was ten-years old, I also found my “Limited Too” journal from 6th grade.  This was more structured, meaning that it gave me places to record various things about my life.  Things I may want to know in the future.  Stuff like my most embarrassing moments, best friends, favorite colors and how dumb I was.  Yeah, I only filled out like 6 pages.  I really don’t know why anybody bothered buying me these things.

In honor of starting student teaching this year (yesterday was my first day of faculty meetings…what’s up?), I’m gonna showcase the “Predictions” page from this journal and then make some predictions of my own (click it for bigger image):

Translated:

• My first car will be: a jeep
  
• I will marry a boy named: Scott
• My grades are going to be: outstanding
• Next hot music group will be: a boy band
• Next year’s popular fashion: sportswear
• New hairstyle: same
• Most popular color: green
• I will become a: actress
• I will make 10 new friends.
  

How did I do?

• Wrong.  But thanks for the Aveo, Mom and Dad. I look really cool driving it.
• Wrong. (99.99% sure.)
• Nailed it.
• Hmmm.
• Seriously? Just because you thought you liked this when you wore them, doesn’t mean they were cool.
• Same then. Same now.  Same always.
• Timeless answer. And very specific too.
• Actress, teacher…I mean, is there really any difference? Other than talent, personality and lack of stage fright??
• Just for that year? No. The rest of your life? Roughly.

Predictions for this School Year:

• The first subject I will teach: math
• I will date a boy named: Kevin
• My grades will be: dope
• Next hot music group: a mariachi band
• Next popular fashion: overalls
• New hairstyle: same (variation: ponytail)
  
• Most popular color: blue
• I will become an: actress
  
• I will make 0 to 1 new friends.

What is the square root of 162?  Leave your answer in simplest radical form. 

 

Side Note: Cool Stuff.

Taking a break from my usual verbal stupidity to share these videos with you:

Warning: Watching these videos may cause you to spontaneously quit your job, pack up your life and spend every dollar to your name.

MOVE from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

LEARN from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

EAT from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

Where do you want to go?
What do you want to learn there?
What do you want to eat there?

My Diary, Pt. 4

If you are not familiar with the “My Diary” series, click here, here and here.  And here. Just kidding. Made you hover. Basically, I take an entry from the diary I kept when I was ten years old, post it here for your viewing pleasure, and attempt to make fun of myself more than the diary already does for me. 

In honor of pre-season football starting, here is the fourth and the last entry from this particular diary
(I know, I was such an overachiever.):

Breakdown:

First of all, it’s pretty obvious that you’re forcing this whole diary-writing to happen.
The first three sentences you’re only giving the reader an unenthusiastic, striped-down summary of what literally happened.  If I could go back in time, I would like to ask myself: “Why are you even bothering?”.  What is the purpose of a diary if you don’t write down all the personal details that you would never tell anyone else or that you want to remember twelve years later?  “We had a lot of fun.”  Yeah, ten-year-old Brynn? Why are you trying to deprive me of my childhood memories?

Secondly, the Seinfeld-esque* rant on the Super Bowl didn’t even sound committed.
What is it about football that you don’t like, ten-year-old Brynn? I don’t remember the last Super Bowl game that I didn’t completely enjoy, so can I at least get some insight on why this event perplexed you? (The first part of the last sentence was an untruth). Maybe you don’t understand sports because you prefer reading and lack hand-eye/foot-eye/brain-body coordination, but if your gonna criticize, put some passion into it, okay? And no, elongating a word with extra vowels does not count.

Lastly, your transitions show a lack of expertise and unconcern for this entry’s readability.
You jumped straight from “Julia” to the “Super Bowl” to “Max’s friends” to “Ian’s caterpillars”. And then you just abruptly and informally conclude.  Yes, the average reader could infer that you brought up the SB because you were breaking down this day’s events, and that possibly Max’s friends came over because of the game.  But where does Ian’s caterpillars being “crystalight” fit in? Did mom turn them into a beverage that you enjoyed at the game? Did watching them provide you reprieve from the shenanigans you believed were occurring? Did they stir any emotions that inspired you to write this diary entry? I’m afraid the reader was left confused, detached and possibly even angry.

*Imagine me standing in front of small comedy club at the age of ten: “The Super Bowl. I mean, what’s the deal with that? It’s just football!”.  Then imagine some boo-ing. No, not ghosts.

What was your favorite pet/animal growing up?

I’m Famous

I’m famous now.

Partially because of the mathematically ground-breaking guest post by Tyler Tarver on Wednesday. But mostly because I was on the news.  Channel 8, ever heard of it?? That’s right, punk.

I was just walking down the street, gunna get a playa some ice*, when I was spotted.  Well, Kevin was spotted too, but he choked under the pressure. Leave it to the professionals, Kev.

The news anchor wanted to talk about the impending grocery store strike. 

Hadn’t heard of it until that moment.  Minor detail, really.

Let’s get back to how I’m famous now.  He asked me a few questions and I think I pretty much nailed them.  At the end, he said he agreed with me.  But they cut that part out. They cut most of it out actually.  They pushed me out to use more footage of the president of the union. Pshhh. Like, whatever.

I can’t embed it in this post, but here is the link for your viewing pleasure:
(I’ll let you guess which one I am…)

Grocery stores getting ready for possible strike – San Diego, California News Station – KFMB Channel 8 – cbs8.com.

You guys, everything is going to be ok. I'm famous now.

Kevin and I decided our celebrity couple name should be Kevynn.

*Ice Cream

What was your 15 minutes (or 2 seconds..whatevs) of fame? Or what would you like it to be?

**Update: They added new videos, so you have to scroll the third one (the oldest) in the box under the player. I’m still not sure why I wasn’t called to weigh in on the new videos.**

Guest Post: “Using Math in Real-Life” by Tyler Tarver

Today’s blog post has been unforcefully taken over by famous (yes, famous) blogger Tyler Tarver.  He’s a math teacher, an Arkansan, father, husband, author and facial hair grower. And he still finds the time to crap out daily comedic genius on his blog tylertarver.com.  I’m actually a little annoyed with him, because his blog posts make me giggle like the little girl I am, ruining any chances I have at projecting a “tuff” exterior.  I blame my lack of street cred on him. Anyways, you should buy his book, “Words [& sentences]”.  I mean, I like it.

Reading Tarver's book..duh.

Seeing that he is a math teacher, he is automatically my hero. Wait, what did I say? I mean, I figured he should write about math. You know, help a sister out with some knowledge I can drop on my students.  So, here we are ladies and gents:

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Using Math in Real-Life

by Tyler Tarver

As a secondary math teacher, I hear the phrase “when will I ever use this in real-life” more than an ugly person hears they have a great personality. You’re a personality, MOM!

My top 2 answers:

•    I use it all the time.

•    On the test.

But it’s time, nay, it is time. See that. When I drop the contraction you know crap’s about to go down like the 2nd Rescuers Movie (the one with the rats or mice or whatever).

Here are some common situations when using in math in real-life saves lives, face, Ferris, and the last dance.

At the Club: When you’re making it rain on some girl, you don’t want to be using all your hundreds, cause then you can’t afford dem rims you be wantin to be ridin dirty spinnas. Calculate the time per seconds it takes for you to flick a dollar (dps) and divide the total seconds by that to find how many bills a playa gonna need. If you have to, just cash those dollars in for tokens at your neighborhood Chucky Cheese and make it hail on them [ladies].

Long paragraph, but vital. FYI: Making it rain means throwing money on chicks, respectfully.

Pirates of the Caribbean: There’s like 23 of them out there, how do you know what order to watch them if you don’t know numbers? I’ll tell you, blindfolded. That’s right, learn math, or walk through life blindfolded and pregnant. Hey, don’t blame me, you’re the one droppin Hamiltons at the club, shawty.

High-5s: No one wants to be that guy that throws up a high 3. The last guy that did that was Frank from 4th grade writing class. You know where he is now? Dead. Well, not dead, but he drives a PT Cruiser, so, potatoes/poe-tot-oes.

If the Matrix becomes Real: It’s more of a chance than you’d think. This one time I was totally in this room and this guy ran in and was all like “hey” and I was like “hey” and he said “Mr. Anderson?” and I said “Agent Smith” and then I was all like boom boom pshew pshew and he was like pop pop pow pow and then I made all that up but it’s okay cause you look really hot and you quit reading during the club paragraph.

Just drop out and get some abs and be on a reality show.

What’s your favorite number?

Tyler Tarver is more fun than the 3rd hour of Monopoly, but less entertaining than two shoes. You can check out his website tylertarver.com, subscribe to it here, check him on Twitter @tylertarver, or just buy his brand new toilet book which he won’t shutup about titled Words&Sentences that 4 people have said is “funnier than sliced bread.” He’s not as attractive as you, but he sure does love you.

Hunting Advice

No, I’m not an expert at hunting animals.  Unless you consider stalking out my neighbor’s dogs for the chance to pet/stare at them “hunting”.

But I am currently hunting for apartments. 

Yeah, it’s the worst.

Don’t get me wrong. I am stoked to be living in a new place, in a new part of town, with two amazing girls.  But God sure is taking me on a journey of patience and persistence in this process.  But between praying, driving down the same streets every day looking for rent signs, and downloading the Craigslist app to my phone, I think something should turn up soon.

But since I have been at this for a couple months now, I’m obviously an expert and once again qualified to give you my advice.

Here are some tips for shopping Craigslist apartments:

1. Avoid the Rerun: This is that apartment that is up for rent and “available now” that you swear you saw when you were looking two months ago.  Actually, you have seen it everyday for the past two months.  And it’s always “available now”.  Not only that, the poster needs to keep reiterating that it is a “BEAUTIFUL APARTMENT!!” in a “SAFE AREA!!” and is a “GREAT DEAL!!”.  There is a reason it is still up, and it may or may not have to do with what looks like a drug dealer in the Google-Map “street view”.
2. Technology is your best friend:  You are on Craiglist.  This means you have also access to Google-maps.  Check out the address pronto.  Does “walking distance from shops” actually mean it is located behind a liquor store?  When it says “minutes from the freeway”, how many minutes are we looking at?  And when it says “great location!”, is it? How many houses on the block have rock-yards rather than grass?
3. Make sure the place exists: Is there an address? A photograph? Sure, you found a perfect place.  It’s in your budget. It’s in the city you want to live. And it has a washer/dryer (this is worth about 546 points on BOARS*).  There is just one thing, you have no idea where it is or what it looks like.  And then when you call they put you on hold and make you listen to a local radio station and right when you are about to write down the number from the Cash4Gold advertisement, they pick the phone and tell you the place was miss-listed but they have a ton of places in your budget that you will absolutely love and you can only see them if you stop by their office and pay a small free of $39 per applicant and give them your social security number and passport.  I made that last part up, but seriously.  No pics, no pick.

I'm loving the brown grass.

*Brynn’s Official Apartment Rating Scale

What have you done in the past to get an apartment/house?? And/or do you have a place in San Diego that I can live in for a year?? Thanks so much. I love you.